Whenever I blog post about something, I won't take back what I said. Most because of arrogant reasoning like "I want the whole world to know what you did" or "First Amendment right". But I just deleted a post made on my website. It kinda falls upon the logic of "It's the right thing to do", but more along the lines of "Fuck man, I really shouldn't have done that".
I made a blog post in regards to New Year's. I was quite upset (and by quite upset, I was very infuriated) about what happened. And I have one cardinal rule, "You fuck with my friends, I don't hold back on you, I take no prisoners." That explains why my post was so venomous. A couple of people did get pissed at what I wrote, but it's okay. I think they understand why I went that far.
But thinking back on that post and the events that happened, a ten year friendship just fell apart on both sides. And for a while, that stung me. It really hurt. I never showed it, but it did.
Thinking back on what I said and how I feel about my friends makes me feel like a hypocrite. But truth be told, I've done some real outlandish things and people have forgiven me for it. But nothing along those lines.
I said that I would never take back most of the things I've said or done because I learn from all experiences because it makes me who I am and in most cases a better person. This is something I'd take back. As I said, I wish the events given at the time, played out differently.
And I owe that person an apology.
Andrea, I'm sorry. I know we apologized at MangaNEXT to each other, but I'm doing it again because I feel more remorseful than before. We have/had a 10 year friendship invested here. I know for fact that neither one of us can easily forgive the other for what happened, but I hope that over time, we can try to fix that. I know it won't be an easy task/overnight thing to do, but if we try and take our time, it will. The guilt of the events past won't go away. I will carry that guilt for as long as I live as a reminder of what I've done.
No comments:
Post a Comment