Bros before Hos (That Topic Again)

About a couple of weeks ago, I had asked people on Facebook if they would date their best friend's ex.  Interesting answers I saw.  Like I said, something similar has happened to me, but it was a friend, and that relationship only lasted about a month or so.

So, here's my story.

We have Tenchi, Shinji, and Ryoko (using names, not their characters).  Now Ryoko was dating Shinji for about a year before they broke up.  Tenchi and Shinji are best friends.  Tenchi asks his bestie if it's okay if they could date.  Even Ryoko asked as well.  It has been a couple of months since the breakup and Shinji is okay with it.

Or so we thought...

Come to find out that Shinji is not happy and miserable about that.  Now Tenchi is uber happy because he's met someone with similar interests, despite him having failed relationships, thinking that he'd never find anyone.

Now I understand if there's various circumstances, but there was none.  And the funny thing is that Tenchi said he had no interest in her whatsoever.  Last I recall, Tenchi and Shinji haven't spoken much since this.  But they might be now, who knows.

But I know that some people have stopped talking to Tenchi because of this, myself included.

I feel that you should never jeopardize a friendship with your best friend over a woman, no matter how much you feel.  Now I understand if Shinji said it was cool with it and was over it.  But it looks like he's not.

That's all I have to say on the matter.

The Road Ahead

Usually when a couple breaks up you tend to hear apologies and that you were too good for that person.  But when it's a couple giving things a second chance and there really isn't a damn thing that can truly be said.  Only a handful of people can truly understand the situation.

Me?

I'm still trying to make sense of it, but not as much.  I try to keep my mind on other things, like the fact that I am 15 credits away from my college degree.

As I said before, I really can't get too much into what happened.  Most importantly, I want to respect the privacy of my ex.  One thing she taught me was the value of privacy in a relationship.  I really wanted to show off photos on my Facebook of the woman I was so in love with, and nothing else more.

But c'est la vie.

We've spoken briefly, there's still some stuff we need to hammer out.  Truth is, I don't mind being friends with her, but also, I am in the mindset of moving on.

Personally, I feel that I am not emotionally ready for another relationship.  I didn't think I was with my ex.  The truth is that I was scared of dating again.  I was scared of fucking up really badly and hurting her.  But I also felt that if I dive into this, the is the relationship that this was going to be it.  So much for that, lol.

I do feel like dating and seeing where things go, and if it happens, then yeah.  I still feel timid as ever.  I want to force myself into the swing of things and enjoy it all, but I just don't have the will power I suppose.  I never did have the best self-confidence in the world.  Yeah, I can flirt, talk, make a girl blush, and make her feel happy and a million bucks, but ya know.

I think that right now, I'm going to focus on graduating from college, letting things fall into place and walk to the beat of my own path and see where life takes me.

Relationships

Relationship. I have one. I'm lucky.

Why do I say that?  We trust and love each other very much.  And we both have a Hall Pass / Free Pass, because we're so far away from each other.

We have an open/polyamorous relationship.  This was her idea, not mine.  I also didn't have a problem with it either.  But I've gotten flack from it and I don't think it's fair at all.

I truly feel that it's a double standard for an open relationship.  If a woman is in one, most guys do not have a problem with it.  Prolly because most guys think with their penis (you know I'm right).  If a guy is in one, most women will have a problem with it.  I find that women feel that you're cheating, and will not do that.

I for one, have never convinced a woman to be poly.  I've come across those who are confused by it wanting to learn more, so I explain what it is.

What bothers me is that if I like you, I would like to take you out and not have a female looking down on me because I have a girlfriend who allows me to do this.  I have lost a few female friends over this, and it has bothered me.  It's gotten to the point where I've hidden my relationship status, and I will tell that women when the time is right.

I do understand that some women do not like to share, and that's okay. But if a guy wants to take you out to dinner and he's seeing someone, don't hold that against him.  His girlfriend knows he's doing this.  Granted there are guys that will do this and not tell their girl about it.  That's completely unfair.

I do know a girl who gave up on being poly for the sake of her relationship.  I did not agree with that because she sacrificed something for him.  If you like a girl and she wants to be poly, RESPECT THAT.  She will 100% respects you back and as long as you trust her, there is nothing to worry about.

Overall what I'm saying is this... Monogamy isn't for everyone and if you meet that person who prefers being poly, respect that person's decision and roll with it... You may just like it.